‘Fake it ’til you make it’: my own forays into faking it have been largely confined to the board room: nodding sagely as weird construction terminology was bandied around. I had a great ability to lead the whole room to believe I was totally at home with ‘firring’ and ‘Flemish bonds’ when in reality I was mildly alarmed they were actually talking about something quite unsavoury.
Making it
On the flip side have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re not faking it but those around you simply haven’t cottoned on? It may be ages since you were promoted, so why do people just not seem to get it? Maybe you’re applying for more senior roles but don’t ever get past interview or the job offer comes in but with less salary than you were expecting?
Mixing your messages
Are you mixing your messages? When you’re nodding furiously in the board room be careful you’re not giving the game away with a look of abject bewilderment on your face. What about promotion? It’s not always easy for the team around you to adjust. Are you hindering them? One client, ‘Julia’, couldn’t understand why the team weren’t taking her seriously since her promotion. “They don’t take any notice of me. I end up having to be more aggressive to make them listen and that causes conflict.” ‘Julia’ had tried not to let promotion go to her head. She was struggling to make the transition between being a liked member of the team and a respected leader of the team. In an attempt to stop any resentment at her promotion, she’d been rolling up her sleeves and mucking in. This meant the team was also struggling to make the transition to having ‘Julia’ as their leader – she was giving them the message nothing had changed – and that’s how they responded.
Mind your language
Another client ‘Sarah’ was in discussion with a corporate about a senior role. An offer was made, but much lower than she was expecting – she was frustrated that with her credentials and experience she didn’t seem to have convinced them of her worth. I critiqued the email exchange she’d had with her prospective employer. Her words gave the game away. Like many of us, ‘Sarah’ had her own internal wobbles about achieving her potential – perhaps deep down, there was fear about stepping into the top job of her dreams. Her language gave it away and her emails simply didn’t carry the weight of someone at such a senior level – and that’s how she was perceived.
So whether you’re faking it or you’ve made it, make sure your body, words and behaviour are backing it up. Show the world you really believe it!
Mary Keeley is a professional women’s coach and communications guru. An ex-corporate communications head she spent years faking it and making it in the construction industry before establishing her boutique company working exclusively with professional women who want to take it to the top.
Mary Keeley 
‘Fake it till you make it’ reminds me of something I read about Mohammed Ali and how his display of supreme confidence prior to his matches paved the way to stardom. In the early days, the young Cassius Clay was known as “The Louisville Lip” – a title he’d earned through predicting the outcomes of his fights in rhyme – and with sheer arrogance: “I’m wise to his tricks, so he must fall in round six…” The public soon stopped mocking however, as they saw his predictions come true.
Only years later, Ali admitted his early opponents weren’t that impressive and he devised this method to make himself stand out: he’d predict a round to win, keep the fight going till then and all the while know his technique was having the desired effect of unnerving his next opponents – the better fighters. Mohammed Ali changed the rules of the game: he faked it, till he made it AND his message all along was very clear.
Thanks for this article, Mary – a reminder that we need to know who we are before we can expect others to.
That’s so interesting and proof that it works! Thanks Shireen