If you’re feeling more ‘bedraggled bunting’ than jubilation as you return to work after the break, it could be time to look at why. Because although the spread sheet may be glazing over as you dream of another life in the sun, the grass could actually get greener on this side of the fence with just a little watering!
Take – we’ll call her – Liz. Liz is a senior manager working in London. She works hard. Really hard. Liz is well-respected and very good at what she does.
The juggling starts at about 6.30am when Liz is applying lippy with one hand and steering cereal into her little one with the other. As she’s loading Little One into the car, she’s checking her phone, barking instructions at Hubby about the afternoon pick up and re-checking her phone.
After 10-minutes willing the traffic to go faster and shouting, “C’MONNNN”, she hands over Little One at nursery and plunges back into the stress stream, arriving at the station with seconds to spare. She sprints up the station steps in four inch heels and neatly alights the train, coinciding perfectly with its arrival at the platform edge.
Immediately she’s on the phone reorganising the agenda for her 10am meeting, searching for last month’s figures amongst the papers heaped in her lap and up to her elbow in her bag frantically trying to reach her purse in time for the coffee trolley.
She arrives in London and after a mercifully short tube journey with her nose rammed into a stranger’s armpit, reaches the office in time to brief her team, grab half an hour with her boss before whisking, perfectly poised, into the 10am meeting. Liz survives on a diet of coffee and a couple of chocolate chip cookies she grabbed off the plate in her meeting and by the time she’s kissing Little One ‘hello’ again he’s been bathed and put to bed by Hubby.
She can barely think straight as she pours a glass of wine and waits for Hubby to serve up the delicious something that’s bubbling on the stove. By the time dinner is over, it’s 9.30pm and she has eight and a half hours to check over three reports, ping off some emails to the US, iron her dress for tomorrow and sleep – before the whole cycle starts again.
Liz loves her job, but increasingly finds herself dreaming of lying on a sunbed with a stack of books. You see, for Liz, work has stealthily crossed the line and become all-consuming. She was powerless to stop it – she didn’t notice it happening.
It’s time for Liz to start rediscovering life as a fulfilled mother and career woman:
1. Nurture: stick to a diet of caffeine, sugar and alcohol and by the time she’s 50, Liz is going to look like a well-worn dishcloth: grey, wrinkly and seen better days. Eating well, drinking water and getting outside for at least 30 minutes a day will do wonders for her energy levels and her skin.
2. Boundaries: Worried she’ll be seen wanting if she doesn’t respond in seconds to the 11pm emails from the HR Director – Liz’s phone is never far from her hand. Stepping back – even for a few hours – will re-energise her and help her see the bigger picture.
3. Guilt: Liz has a deep sense of guilt for not spending enough time with Little One and being too worn out to be much of a companion for Hubby. She needs to find a way to flex around her family and her career so there’s enough of her in both places. Working at home one day a week or committing to catching an earlier train a couple of nights a week will start to give her some balance and be good for the whole family.
Mary Keeley 